My Hair is GONE!
When I found out that I was going to lose ALL OF MY HAIR due to Chemotherapy, I cried for over a week. I was just devastated because my long golden locks were over 24 inches long and had been with me for over 25 years. I had long hair for as long as I could remember. I loved the color of my hair, and I also loved to french braid my hair. My sister had taught me how to french braid my own hair 23 years earlier, and that was one of the reasons I kept my hair long. It always looked so cute and only took about 15 minutes for me to braid it! Sometimes I would braid it before bed, and then un-braid it in the morning to give my hair a wavy look for the day. Now I could not do that anymore. I was going to have to find something to cover my bald head. After doing a lot of research, I settled on scarves and hats.
Where Did I Put Those Scarves?
We had recently moved, and during that move, I had run across 20+ scarves that I had collected over the years. I had very seldom worn them, and I was never a big scarf wearer. I absolutely love fabric and scarves are so beautiful! So, needless to say, I had quite a collection of scarves. During the move, I was tempted to give them all away. But something in the back of my mind urged me to keep them. I had my doubts as to whether I would ever wear them, but I decided with a new move, maybe I would decide to try them out again. I just did not know how I would be trying them out and in what form!
Actually, before my head was shaved, I started digging through boxes trying to find the scarves. Luckily, I had put them all in one box and it was labeled. I dug out all of the scarves and got online to try and figure out how to wear them on my head! Over the years, I had rolled a small scarf and worn it more as a headband, but I had never ever worn a scarf over my head. I had friends that would wear them on bad hair days, but I never did. Basically, I never went out unless my hair was fixed, so I never really had bad hair days. Also, I just did not see the need to cover up my hair.
Now here I was, trying to figure out how to wear and tie a head scarf to hide my bald head. My first concern was whether the scarf would stay on or not. I had heard stories of scarves sliding off, or just not staying in place. This was a big concern to me since I would be experiencing this for the first time. I decided to search the internet and see how other women solved this problem. I was absolutely stunned to find so many youtube channels showing how to tie different scarves, how to pick a scarf, different ways to wear a scarf, and experiences of others with scarves. The internet was a treasure trove when it came to research on baldness.,
In the next few days, I discovered that I would not have a problem with most of the scarves. Most of my scarves were cotton or a combination with cotton in them. These scarves worked the best. I had one silk scarf that would not stay on my head. It was just too silky to stay in place. It was a beautiful scarf, but I just could not make it work. I tried wearing a cotton scarf underneath, but the two scarves together were too hot. I also tried a pull on mesh head cover that was suggested for wearing under wigs. I could not stand the tightness of that and it was also hot. Well, I just had to give up that scarf. At least I had 20+ more to try!
I got pretty frustrated the first few times I tried to tie on the scarves. But, unfortunately, I knew this was going to be my life for about a year, so I better figure it out. I am not one to give up! I get frustrated just like everyone else, but most of the time, that frustration just makes me more determined to accomplish whatever I am failing at. Such was with the scarves. I was going to make this work, one way or another. In the beginning, I was too self-conscious to go out without something on my head.
I did wear a baseball cap a few times, but I preferred scarves. I liked the fact that the scarves covered my entire BALD HEAD. I did not like the baldness peaking out around the edges and in the back of the baseball cap. All of my scarves were also very beautiful and colorful. Both of these made me feel attractive and pretty, even though I had Cancer and NO HAIR!! I always tried to wear bright colors when I went out because most of the time I was just so sick and felt so ugly! I actually looked forward to the weekly support meetings just so I could dress up -kinda- and tie on my beautiful scarf!
My Big Day Out
I tried to attend the weekly support meetings if at all possible. It was the only time I left the house, and it gave me a chance to dress and wear a scarf. I did miss several meetings because of the fact that my white blood cell count was way too low. And when my blood count was very low, I was also very sick. I had absolutely no energy and no desire to go anywhere or do anything. There were a couple of times I really wanted to go to the meetings, and I would get up and start trying to get ready. About halfway through the process, I would realize that I just could not do it. I was always very disappointed and I would cry. But I knew if I went I would probably collapse while I was there, and I did not want to embarrass myself. However, I was among friends, and I am sure they would have understood. But I just could not take the risk. I also knew that they would understand why I was not there. I think I only missed about 3 or 4 meetings during that whole year. Those meetings were about the only highlight in my life while I was battling cancer. They seemed to be the only thing that somewhat motivated me. And, of course, I always looked forward to wearing new scarves or hats!
What would your preference be? Leave me a message below and let me know.