A couple of months after being diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, I started chemotherapy. I knew I was going to be in trouble from the very first treatment. I had all kinds of symptoms that affected me drastically. But one of the most serious side effects that I experienced was chemo brain, as it is called. If one is not familiar with this term, it simply means problems with thinking and memory during cancer treatments. As each treatment progressed, so did my chemo brain. My mind was totally foggy all the time.
The condition went from bad to worse as I progressed with the treatments. After the first month, I started experiencing what some people call “senior moments”. I would be right in the middle of a sentence, and I could not complete the sentence because I could not remember the word I wanted to use. My brain would come to a screeching halt and many times, I could not even recover. I would be so shocked at the fact that I could not remember a simple word, that I would start to cry. Keep in mind, that prior to chemotherapy, I considered myself to have a memory like an elephant! And I always prided myself for having such a vibrant memory. So you can imagine how devastating something like this could be to me. It was actually gut wrenching for me. I knew this was a problem, and I just hoped I would sail through without any other glitches to my memory. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
As my treatments progressed, so did my complications with my brain. By the third month of chemotherapy, I was getting really scared. Not only was I having these word glitches, I also started to experience other problems. Another problem I had was putting sentences together. My sentences would come out completely backward of what I was trying to say. For example, I might want to say, “My husband is such a good cook.” But it would come out: “My cosband is such a hood hook!” At first, it was quite shocking. And when I would try to correct myself, the sentence would get further messed up. Again, all I could do was cry! Eventually, I had to accept this was happening to me. So my husband and I decided to make a joke out of it and laugh at all the mix-ups that came out of my mouth. There were some very funny mix-ups! I should have kept a log.
Another problem that I had was short term memory problems. At first, I would just forget a few things. Then the problem continued to get worse. By the fourth month, I could not remember ANYTHING! I could not remember if I took my medications, I could not remember if I had eaten or even gone to the bathroom. I could not remember if I had taken a shower or if I had made important phone calls. If I laid something down, like my cellphone, I could not remember where I had put it and sometimes spent hours looking for something. Many times I was so sick that my husband would have to spend hours looking for things or trying to figure out what I had or had not done. By this time in the game, I was too deathly sick to care about anything. My husband had to take care of me 24/7 because I could not even function at all. He had to keep track of everything that I did or did not do. He is no spring chicken, but he did an amazing job of taking care of me. And he never complained!
I also had an even more serious problem. Many times, I could not even remember my husband’s name or my son’s name. This really scared me because I have experience with Alzheimers, and my symptoms were very similar to this disease. I knew I did not have Alzheimers, but it scared me to think that maybe my lack of brain function could push me in that direction. At this point, I also could not remember what day it was. There were even times when I would lose a week to ten days, and not even know it. It is very hard to accept these changes and how they are affecting you. And the worse part is, you have no idea if this is permanent or if you will recover from it.
Early on, before I started chemo, I had read about 30 plus books about breast cancer and all of the problems that chemo entailed. One of the problems that was mentioned was chemo brain. Now that I was in the total throws of chemotherapy and chemo brain, I decided it was time to take some action. Deep down, I was very worried. I had read that brain problems can continue for many months during, and even after, chemotherapy was over. Some patients still had major problems years later. In some of those books, it was mentioned that playing computer games would help to protect the brain from total discentegration. I was so scared that I would lose most of my brain function and that I would not regain it. So I decided it was time to put these theories to the test. I found free online games and I started to play them, either on my computer, when I felt up to it, or on my phone when I could not even get out of bed.
One of the places I frequented was Publishers Clearing House. I had an account, so it was easy for me to log in and play games. Many of the games weren’t especially challenging, but I was in such bad shape, I figured it really did not matter. The main goal was to exercise my brain in any way that I could. I could not do much else, so this was a good distraction for me. I tried to up the ante each time I played games. Most games were not timed and I had time to complete them. However, there were a few games that were timed, and I constantly tried to get a better time. That was quite a struggle. Sometimes I would go for days at the same timing. When I did finally beat a time, it would pump me up and I would set the bar higher. I constantly tried to beat the time. But no matter how hard I tried, I could never get to where I wanted to be. Even with the disappointment of that, I decided what I was doing was better than nothing. I also hoped, when I finished chemotherapy, that my brain would eventually and slowly recover and I would get back to normal.
Unfortunately, when chemotherapy was over a year later, I still had some brain issues. I still exhibited forgetfulness constantly, although it was not as bad as when I was going through chemotherapy. That was when I decided to try and find some other games more challenging. I found some apps on my phone with games that are timed and also games that get more difficult as you progress through the game.
I still play these games every single day. The games I chose were: #1) Wizard of Oz #2) Toy Blast #3) Genies & Gems and #4) Cradle of Empires. All of these games have hundreds of levels and each level gets more difficult as one progresses through the game. I still have some issues some days, and then other days I feel like my brain is functioning properly.
Honestly, I really think playing games through chemotherapy helped protect my brain. I think it helped keep the circuits firing, even though it was difficult at times. It is still difficult, at times. My brain function still is not back to the magnificent brain I had before, but it is much better than it was when I was at my worst.!
Here is my advice to anyone going through chemotherapy. Find some games that you like, and load the apps onto your phone. I spent the better part of 9 months in bed. Within a few months, I was deathly sick, but I could not sleep because I had slept too much! Many nights, I would be wide awake, even though I was deathly sick. My mind needed something to do, so I would lay in bed propped up on pillows. I would play games on my phone unti I got so tired that I could sleep. I would play games for at least 2 hours every single day. I honestly believe these games saved my brain!
Are you going through chemo? If so, what do you do to protect your brain? I would love to hear your comments on this topic. Please leave a comment below. Also, if you know someone that could use this information, please share it. I would also love it if you would like this!
