What Is A Port?
No, I am not talking about Port Wine! Although guzzling some Port Wine would certainly be easier and a lot less painful!! Unfortunately, I am one of those few people in the world who does not particularly like wine, and I have never really been big on drinking. And now that I take Warfarin everyday, it is probably a good thing! No, I am talking about a device that is put into your body surgically, your upper chest on either the left or right side, that helps with Chemotherapy and other injections that someone may need.
The reason for a port is the fact that many of us, myself included, do not have very good veins. Every time one gets a procedure, whether it is drawing blood, for a cat scan, for an MRI or surgery, the veins have to be accessed. When I was young, I had beautiful accessible veins. But through the years, with so many surgeries, problems and blood draws, and also due to aging, my veins have practically disappeared! Now I have very tiny, deep veins and they are very difficult to access. Occasionally, I will run across someone that can hit a vein every time, but that is rare.
So when I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer, my surgeon and oncologist suggested that I get a port put in. Even though, at the time, I had no idea how many hundreds of times that port would be accessed, I quickly agreed to get one. I was scheduled for day surgery to get the port surgically installed. Honestly, I barely remember the actual surgery. I was still reeling from the shock of the diagnosis I had received. But I do know I had a port put in!
Port Difficulties
I don’t remember the recovery in day surgery or much after that until that night at home. I have said before that I am very sensitive to all drugs. Well, my body is very sensitive to anything artificial also, even though I did not know it at the time. I do remember that I kept hitting the port as it sticks out about a 1/2 inch from my chest. And every time I hit it, it really did hurt! It seems that I was constantly hitting it no matter how hard I tried not to! That was very frustrating for me. But even worse than that, I think my body was trying to reject it. Shortly after all of the anesthesia wore off and I was home in my own bed, it started hurting and itching! The itch seemed to be on the inside under the port and no matter what I did, I could not get the damn thing to stop itching. The itch was almost worse than the pain! I tried itching on each side of it, I tried itching on top of it (that was pretty painful) and tried itching it in a complete circle around the port. But nothing worked. I am telling you that this little device almost drove me insane. I did not even know if I could continue with it because of the constant itch and the constant pain. I had a really rough, difficult and sleepless night. By the next morning, I was ready to tear that sucker out of my chest! But at the same time, I kept thinking about all of the injections I was going to have to endure, and the thought of technicians trying to stick my veins up to 12 times, and sometimes still not being able to get a vein. I felt I was really in a dilemma.
So of course, I called the doctor and discussed this little issue with him. He told me that I would just have to try and tolerate this little bugger until my body decided that it was not going anywhere! Trying to draw blood from my veins hundreds of times would be an impossible feat, and this was the only way I was going to be able to have breast surgery and continue with all of the treatments. Knowing this, however, did not make my situation any easier! I was really, really frustrated. But I knew there were no other options. You only have two options. And this seemed to be the only option for me, although I had no idea how on earth I was going to get through this period. I do have to say, though, that I think it offered me a distraction of my total situation. I had been so upset and distraught over my diagnosis, it was all I could think about. Now I had something else to distract me from all the other things I had been worrying about!
Sheer Willpower
So I decided the only ways I was going to get through this was: #1) I would have to be more aware of where the port was so I would quit hitting it a hundred times a day #2) I would have to find something to do to distract my mind from the constant itching #3) I needed to try to be “THANKFUL” that I at least had this option so that the doctors could try and save my life, and #4) I constantly tried to remind myself that there were thousands of people that died every year from this disease and other cancers, and thousands of people that had it a lot worse than I did. I have always tried to remember that no matter how bad I think my life is, I know there are people out there a lot worse off than me and with lot bigger problems than me. That little reminder always helps keep me grounded no matter what situation I am in! And that included my diagnosis of Triple Negative Breast Cancer!
I do have to say that the first week was really, really difficult. I tried really hard to implement my 4 options above, but my body was fighting me constantly. But I also knew I had no other option, so I was just going to have to suffer through this, no matter how long it took. I was going to have to suck it up and try to accept my situation and get through it. As with all things difficult in life, sometimes things get easier as time goes on. Not always, but sometimes. So I kind of figured that would be the case. So I continued to suffer. I did, however, get really good at #1. I quit hitting the port, so that helped with some of the pain. #2 was quite a different story. That damn thing continued to itch! You have heard the saying “An itch you can’t scratch”. Well, I never really knew the meaning to that saying until I got that port! Now I totally understood where it had come from. I now had an itch I could not scratch. It was impossible! But there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it. It was in my body, and it was destined to be there for a very long time. So I knew I was going to have to make peace with it somehow. Easier said than done! I also did try very hard to accept #3 and #4. So I guess 3 out of 4 wasn’t bad. But that damn itch! It just would not go away.
Each week got a little easier. Not much, but a little. I still had itching spells, but they were getting fewer and farther between. So now I at least had hope that my body was finally going to accept this foreign object and settle down. It took over 3 WEEKS before that port finally quit itching continuously. It has now been over 3 years that I have had that port in, and it still, occasionally itches. But at least it is not 24/7 like it was during those 3+ weeks.
Lending A Helping Hand
I wanted to share this story because I do not know if anyone else has ever had this problem. I don’t have much advice to help if someone does. But at least I feel like maybe that one person that needs encouragement might find it here. This problem is almost intolerable, but there is just nothing that can be done about it. But I just want one to know that it will eventually go away for the most part. Because of all of the complications I had in the beginning, I have kept the port because I have so many health issues and need several other surgeries. Also, I am still in the maintenance phase of my cancer remission. I still have to have regular blood tests, CT scans and MRI’s.
My doctor keeps telling me I should have it removed, and if I need more surgery that could put another one in??? What?? No way! I am not going through another 3+ weeks of internal itching! I honestly believe the next time would drive me over the edge! When I first had the port put in, my doctor told me I should have it removed within 2 years. At the 2 year mark, I had another discussion with him. He told me he had patients that had them for 5 years before removing them, so I felt better leaving it in.
Of course, choosing to leave a port in does create another problem. The port has to be flushed once a month to keep it in working order and so it does not get clogged. If, for some reason, the port does get clogged, it has to come out! So I try religiously to get my port flushed every 4 weeks. So far, so good. There have been a couple of times I have had to go 5 or 6 weeks due to illness, but I have been very lucky. My port flushes perfectly every time. I have to make a special trip into Santa Cruz and schedule the appointments with the cancer center. But for now, I am happy to do it this way.
Here To Help
If anyone has any questions or needs any help with cancer related subjects, please feel free to contact me. I am in no way an expert. But I certainly feel like one after what I have been through! I just kind of went through cancer treatment on a wing and a prayer, and am very thankful that I made it through. I don’t believe anyone is ever prepared to go through cancer. I have had many trials and tribulations throughout my life, but I have to say, this has been one of the worst experiences of my life. But at the same time, again, I try to be “THANKFUL”. Thankful that #1) I made it through #2) I am healthy (kind of) #3) we now have treatments, as bad as they are, that help survival rates and I am most thankful for all of the doctors and nurses, and my family of course, that helped me through this harrowing experience and pulled for me every inch of the way. There were times I was so sick I wanted to give up and just die. But none of my supporters would let me. My oncologist was phenomenol! He was available to me practically around the clock and really listened and supported me. The nurses tried very hard to keep my spirits up. My family were absolutely “MY ROCK”. Without them, I would not have made it through all of this. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I try every day to remember that!
