Talking To God
I faded off to sleep the night before not knowing if it was my last. I was very sad thinking I would NEVER see my family again, but at that point, I just had to leave it in God’s hands. There was nothing left for me to do. The nurses came in at 5:00A.M. and woke me up to take blood and inject medications into my I.V. bag. When they woke me up, and after a couple of minutes of evaluating where I was, I exclaimed, ” I AM ALIVE!!!!” One of my favorite nurses, Donna, laughed and said, “Yes, Connie, you are alive! You survived the night, and somehow, the medicine finally kicked in and did the work it was supposed to!” I do have to say I was a little in shock because I really did not think I would survive the night and wake up the next morning. I had been so sick and weak and felt like I had asked God for too many favors. I really felt like my luck had run out
But here I was, awake AND alive! I did feel a little bit better, and as the nurses loaded me up with more medication, I began to feel better as the day progressed. They had woken me up at 5:00A.M., and I could not wait to call my husband and my son!! I had to wait until at least 8:00 A.M. and that 3 hour wait was almost unbearable. I knew that neither of them had probably slept, not knowing if I had died in the night. So by 7:00A.M. I could not wait any longer! I picked up the phone and called my husband first. He really jumped when the phone rang, and said he was very anxious not knowing what the news would be. But the moment he heard my voice, he was so relieved. I was practically screaming. I was so excited to be alive and I just wanted him to know so he would relax. We chatted for a few minutes, but that was cut short because more nurses had entered and it was time for more medications. I asked him to call Scott, our son, because I did not know how long it would be before I could, and I wanted him to have the news also.
Jeff, my husband, called Scott and gave him the good news. He also did not wait to call. He knew that Scott would be a wreck wondering what was going on and what the outcome of the night would be. He also was extremely relieved and very happy that he still had his MOM! Jeff told him I would call him later when I could. Scott was practically climbing the walls. He wanted to know how I had survived. I finally got a chance to call him shortly after 8:00A.M. and the joy in his voice was evident. He did tell me that he had prayed for a good part of the night since he could not sleep. He, too, had waited for that phone to ring, dreading the news. But now, he had gotten the news that he wanted. He also thanked me for fighting, and not giving up. Honestly, though, I did not feel like I had really done anything. I had pretty much left it in God’s hands. And once again, GOD had come through for me and my family.
Later that morning, the doctor came in to see me. He told me that they had tried 12 different medications including 7 different anti-biotics to try and fight the infection that was ravaging my body. They had given me Neulasta shots to try and boost my white blood cell count. Nothing seemed to work the first 7 days. I had continued to go downhill, but my doctor refused to give up. So he had tried 2 more very powerful anti-biotics, even though he was not very hopeful that they would work. We will never really know what happened. Did the drugs finally kick in, did all of our prayers to God get answered, or was it some kind of miracle that took place? We will never know! But one thing I did know. I AM ALIVE!!!
